Name: Rudy
Age: 53
Mustache: Fancy Swirl
On his 18th birthday in 1975, Rudy attended the senior prom with Gertrude Polanski, his chemistry lab partner and true love. They danced to "Love Will Keep Us Together" by the Captain and Tenille, and as the song reached its stirring crescendo, Rudy leaned in to consummate their teenage love with a kiss. Suddenly Gertrude ran screaming from the room. She had had a severe allergic reaction to Rudy's imported French mustache wax, which he had applied liberally in the hopes of impressing his date with his carefully sculpted facial hair. Unfortunately, the reaction caused her to be horribly disfigured, and she spent the rest of her life in a facility for the facially unfortunate, never allowing Rudy to see her scarred face again. Each year, on his birthday, the anniversary of the incident, Rudy puts on the suit he wore that night, listens to the song that was playing, and gets stupid drunk. He has had his mustache, and his broken heart, for thirty five years. He is not dangerous, he is merely sad.
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